Dear Kentucky GOP legislators: Since you are working hard at writing bigotry into our laws, I wanted to help you out by giving you a straightforward 8-step plan.
1) Plan your strategy months in advance! Attend meetings of the Council for National Policy, National Association of Christian Lawmakers, and American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) for ideas.
2) Contact said organizations (or speed dial Ron DeSantis) for boilerplate legal language to use in your bills.
3) Include Anti-Woke or Anti-CRT language in your proposed bills (Example bills: HB173, SB102):
These phrases should be sprinkled throughout your rhetoric like pepper on mashed potatoes, even though you can’t explain them when asked. But note: Since women’s reproductive rights have been overturned at the federal level, a new target group must be vilified in order to unite your base; groups such as non-white, non-Christian, or those “LGBTQ-XYZ” persons will do nicely. Of course, to do this, you will need to ignore our once-standard cultural norms, such as respect for diversity and inclusion, participation in social-justice activities, and actual education about our country’s historical moral failings. The only “moral failings” you should include in classroom discussions should be innocuous and non-threatening, such as the travesty of cancelling Star Trek after only two seasons.
4) Include “Parental Rights in Education” language (SB150):
Make it possible for parents to have their child “opt-out” of educational content they disagree with, including books, lessons, activities, visual aids, discussions, and bulletin-board displays. Encourage parent participation (HB150/177) by regularly scrutinizing lessons, filing objections, and protesting at school-board meetings, creating an adversarial relationship between parents and educators. Don’t forget to include taxpayer funding for enforcement!
These actions by parents will sow chaos and create hurdles for educators, leaving them scrambling to figure out what to do and say. Many teachers will then leave the profession, allowing room for teachers who “think like you” to join the school systems.
5) Muzzle the remaining teachers (SB150, HB173/177):
Don’t permit teacher-led discussions nor teacher answers to student questions regarding topics deemed controversial, like whether children should be allowed to dress as Harry Potter for Halloween, since that is clearly Satanic. Besides, children never have questions about controversial topics. Be sure to use the term “sexual” and all derivatives to get parents’ attention. NOTE: Exposure to sexual orientation could make youth stray from their God-given orientation, much like watching too many episodes of Golden Girls will turn adults’ hair white.
Teachers should not be forced to use students’ preferred pronouns (SB102/150, HB173) nor nicknames, even if that builds Trust and Respect; conversely, students should not be required to use teachers’ preferred monikers, when alternatives like “Banshee” and “Piranha” are more descriptive. Teachers should not be trusted to do the job they were professionally trained to do, even though they already follow best practices with regard to controversial content, must adhere to curriculum standards, and know what is developmentally appropriate – like that watching World Wrestling Entertainment may cause children under age 8 to Choke Slam younger siblings, causing bodily harm.
Lastly, students must not hear all sides of issues (HB173/177, SB102), or they will decide for themselves what they believe and become well-rounded, critical-thinking citizens who might feel differently from their parents. NOTE: If they think for themselves, we are sunk, because they will see through this strategy.
6) Codify marginalizing a group by attacking from all angles:
Consider restrictions not just in education but also in medical care (HB120/470), police support, birth records (HB585), sports participation (achieved in 2022), entertainment (SB102/115, HB173), bathroom use (HB30), drinking fountains, and lunchroom tables.
7) Include “Religious Liberty” language (HB58/153/204):
If none of the above are working, justify your bigotry by using the Christian Bible, as done previously to justify slavery, anti-Semitism, homophobia, and bans on snail eating.
8) Sleight of hand: Magnify these maneuvers via social media and pseudo-news outlets (like Fox) so that citizens don’t see the bills you really wish to pass.
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It is NOT too late to let your legislators know how you feel about any legislation!
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Kimberly Kennedy is a writer, former educator, and parent of a young adult in the LGBTQ+ community.
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