An anonymous source believed to be a former Secret Service agent has said Trump loyalists within the RNC replaced Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) with a fully programmable replicant in the days following McConnell’s denunciation of then-President Donald Trump from the Senate floor on January 19, 2021.
The replicant, dubbed Robomitch by White House insiders, is powered by a rechargeable lithium battery which was nearly depleted yesterday due to the senator's unusually busy schedule. A nearby bystander, Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY), activated Robomitch’s emergency power supply by saying the word “Mitch.” Robomitch was then escorted to the senator's office where a new lithium battery was installed.
“When Senator McConnell voted against Trump’s impeachment for ‘incitement of insurrection,’ that wasn’t really the senator who voted; that was Robomitch,” claimed the anonymous source.
Democratic senators Chuck Schumer and Patrick Leahy say they will investigate these allegations in a special Senate committee convened expressly for that purpose.
It has been suggested that certain conservative Supreme Court justices are also replicants.
“So, what if they are?” answered an angry House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. “There’s nothing in the Constitution that says they have to be human.”