One of the most life-changing things that I ever learned I learned from George W. Bush.
I know, I know! How could I learn anything from a man who asked, “Is our children learning?” Admittedly, Junior Bush is a grade A blockhead, but he accidentally explained how the oligarchy works.
Bush was listening to someone’s tale of woe, and then Bush asked, “Why didn't he make a phone call?”
And that’s when it dawned on me: In his world, every problem — no matter how severe — can be solved with a phone call to the right person.
Want your son to get into Yale even if he’s a dope? Junior Bush was the son, nephew, grandson, great-nephew, and great-great-grandson of Yalies. How unqualified was Junior Bush for the academic heights?
When his son George W. Bush landed at Yale 19 years later, he quit baseball after his freshman year, calling himself “mediocre.” A hellion of a fraternity president, he earned average grades and became known for such pranks as tearing down Princeton’s goalposts. When his name appeared in the New York Times, he was defending the practice of branding fraternity pledges with red-hot coat hangers.
That must’ve been one helluva phone call.
But so are most of the phone calls from the elites.
- Has your son gotten an unsuitable girl pregnant? Make a phone call.
- Has your grandson gotten himself into some legal problem? Make a phone call.
- Is there a zoning issue standing in the way of your mansion or a pool? Make a phone call.
- Some pesky regulation getting in the way of exploiting workers or polluting the air or despoiling the drinking water or gouging customers? Make a phone call.
Clearly, the telephone is mightier than both the pen and the sword.