I’m amazed at how fickle Republican Jesus is.
Elevating a broke, thrice-married, profane conman to the presidency was God’s will. But, He changed his mind after one term and sent him into what should have been ignominy in Mar-a-Lago. However, it’s crickets on how God wanted two terms for Barack Hussein Obama (who says God’s not ecumenical?) and replaced Trump with President Joe Biden.
He’s an omniscient and omnipotent God, right? So, it’s obvious that Trump’s election is like the flood: a move God took in anger and promptly repented and promised to never repeat. So, if you’ve got a “Trump 2024” bumper sticker or flag, know you’re going against God’s will. Just sayin’.
Republican Jesus is fickle on other ways, too. Remember when Jesus talked about living the good Christian life in Matthew 25:31–40?
But that’s sooooo 2,000 years ago!
To be a true Evangelical Christian today, you need to ignore all that nonsense about the poor and sick and widows and orphans and prisoners. Geez! A real Christian spends his time speculating about people’s sex lives, accepting ridiculous conspiracy theories without checking them out in the least, denigrating the compassionate, justifying actual acts of terrorism, and worshipping a Golden Calf. (I couldn’t have made up the last one; if I had seen it on Saturday Night Live, I’d have said, Nope – even they’re not this un-self-aware. But, as usual, I’d be wrong.)
Lastly, it’s funny what conditions should have been signs that America had strayed from God’s path. Worst unemployment rate since the Great Depression? The highest level of domestic terrorism in a quarter century? The largest deficit in U.S. history, increased by $1 trillion, a slap in the face to all those loud deficit hawks? A big rise in deaths of despair? Ranking 33rd out of 36 industrialized countries in infant and maternal mortality rates? A literal right-out-of-Exodus worldwide plague? Nope, none of these counted – not if the Golden Calf is president.
But high gas prices and rising inflation rates? Sure sign of the Devil. Although fickle Jesus has also granted the Antichrist the lowest unemployment rate since 1969, a 2022 deficit decrease of $1.5 trillion, an increase in Americans with health care, and Jubilee for college students. Dang! God can’t seem to make up His mind as to whether to curse or bless America over Joe Biden. I guess, unlike how He viewed the last guy, God sees Biden as a glass half full.
It’s popular to taunt Trump supporters as people who don’t read books; however, my issue with them is that they don’t seem to read the Bible, either.