How to get your ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card Skip to content

How to get your ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card

Do you need a way to avoid jail time? Ivonne Rovira has you covered.

The familiar “Get Out of Jail Free” card from the board game Monopoly (photo by Mark Strozier [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons)

Let’s say you’ve done some bad things. Really bad things. In fact, let’s say you’re a fugitive from the law. What can you do to get rid of the consequences of your criminal actions?

Why, head out to Congressman Jamie Comer and whisper in his ear that you have dirt on Hunter or Joe Biden. And voilà! Comer will be baying that you need immunity in order to testify before Congress.

Now, you’d think you’d need evidence, documents, recordings, something. No, you don’t. You can pass on unprovable rumors, third-hand accounts, things revealed to you in dreams. It’s all grist for the anti-Biden mill.

Gal Luft is the “whistleblower” that Jamie Comer has been touting as having proof of Biden family crimes. Unfortunately for Comer, it has come out that Luft has been indicted by the Department of Justice for numerous crimes. The charges against the Israeli-American think-tank co-director include attempted or actual bribery of the Trump Administration on behalf of the Chinese government, failing to register as the agent of the Chinese government, and illegally selling arms and Iranian oil.

The GOP claims that the DOJ is only charging Luft because he’s a whistleblower. If that’s true, then the DOJ is the most amazing agency ever, because they indicted Luft in November 2022 before he went to the MAGA leadership — even before the Republicans took the House. Clearly, like President Barack Obama, they must have a time machine so they could reverse the calendar and charge Luft before he even became a so-called “whistleblower.”

Comer let slip before the indictment was unsealed earlier this month that he knew that Luft was “kind of in the spy business.” For him to now claim that Luft was an innocent abroad contradicts what he said in May. But constant contradictions don’t faze Comer.

Further, as in science fiction, the DOJ can control others’ minds. How else to explain that Cyprus, where Luft was a fugitive, arrested him in February? He’s now fled to parts unknown.

My friend and colleague Berry Craig has a great think piece on whether Comer’s witch trials will end up being called Comerism, a la McCarthyism. I certainly hope so.

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Ivonne Rovira

Ivonne is the research director for Save Our Schools Kentucky. She previously worked for The Miami Herald, the Miami News, and The Associated Press. (Read the rest on the Contributors page.)

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