Dear people on the Left: Stop begging. Try this instead. Skip to content

Dear people on the Left: Stop begging. Try this instead.

Dear lefties — Want to know how to deal with the MAGA anti-vax crowd? Just remember how you deal with a toddler. Ivonne Rovira has the directions.

from Stencil

The Left has no idea how to deal with Trump-Cult levels of vaccine insanity. I am surprised by this failure of the Left because I am sure that most of them have had children. Surely, they can remember how to deal with a toddler. (Yes, you read that right.)

Granted, there are folks who want to put off getting the vaccine because they worry about it being rushed. They need a little more time to see what the aftereffects will be. They’re not a “no,” but a “not yet.” If all goes well, in a year — or three — they will change their minds. Some are already doing so. In January, 35% of African Americans did not want to receive any of the COVID-19 vaccines, but WebMD says that has started to change. In fact, only 39.5% of the unvaccinated say they are very unlikely to ever get vaccinated against COVID-19, according to a Tufts University study released July 13.

But the MAGA crowd is different; nearly half of them say they won’t get vaccinated, according to that same study. According to the peer-reviewed journal PLOS One, Donald Trump, his son Don Jr., Turning Point USA’s extremist head Charlie Kirk and actor James Woods were among “the largest influencers in the anti-vaccination network.” Actually, MAGA vaccination rates may be even lower than reported. Mississippi (37%), Louisiana (39%), Idaho (40%), Wyoming (40%), and Alabama (41%) have the lowest rates of fully vaccinated residents (as of July 12). Hmmm. What do they all have in common? (In contrast, Vermont is at 75%, while No. 2 Massachusetts is at 71% and No. 3 Hawaii is at 70%.)

For the most part, Trump supporters’ reluctance doesn’t come from needing more time or more scientific study. After all, Fox News CEO Rupert Murdoch pushed himself to the front of the line and got his vaccine way back in December, and Trump, as he so often does, got his (along with presumably the rest of his family and the rest of Fox News). Their unmasked, belligerent reluctance is based on “owning the libs.” The libs want them to get a vaccine? Then they’ll die first — literally. Begging only makes them more determined to kill themselves to spite you.

Dumb? Dumb doesn’t begin to describe it. These are the people who truly believe that Trump will be “reinstated” — whatever that is — on Aug. 13. They believed him when he told them coronavirus wouldn’t dare come to America, that it would peak at 15 cases, that no Americans would die, that you didn’t need masks, that the best way to manage the pandemic was a free-for-all among the states — well, I could go on and on.

Which brings me back to toddlers. When my son was young (not a toddler but not yet in kindergarten), he told me that I was the meanest mommy in the world. I thanked him for noticing, as I had worked really hard to win that title. A few weeks later, without looking at me while eating lunch, he mentioned that his friend Logan’s mommy had done something mean. “I think she may be meaner than you,” he said, still not looking at me.

I immediately countered. “Oh, no! Sure, Logan’s mommy has done one mean thing. I work on being mean all of the time! One thing! Pshaw! There’s no way that she’s meaner than I am!” Then we both laughed. (Points to the boy for being astute.)

That’s how you have to treat the MAGA crowd. Be understanding. “Hey, I get it. Trump was such a failure in everything else to do with the pandemic, I can understand that you would fear that a vaccine developed during his administration would be just as terrible as everything else he did. But don’t worry! The Moderna vaccine — that’s what I got — was developed in Germany. You can trust that one! I got the vaccine in the afternoon, and I was dizzy that night. But by the next afternoon, I was fine! My arm didn’t even hurt!”

Now vaccine hesitancy isn’t owning the libs; it’s doubting the Golden Messiah.

But you don’t want to stop there! Be kind and understanding, as we liberals are. “(Sigh.) I know you won’t believe me that I truly wish you guys would get vaccinated. But, at least, all those Red State deaths will make adding to the House and Senate majorities in 2022 easier and really make America great!” Then keep it up. Sigh and shake your head as death tolls rise in the usual suspect Red States.

  • “Man! Look at how many are dead in South Dakota! Gee, I wonder if that’s enough to get Heidi Heitkamp back into the Senate? What do you think?”
  • “Man, did you hear that there were (insert daily death toll here) in Georgia from COVID? That’s so sad, but, on the bright side, things are looking really good for Reverend Raphael Warnock’s re-election!”
  • “The Republican state legislature in Wisconsin (or Florida, take your pick) is soooo dumb, fighting vaccine requirements and COVID restrictions! Do they want to defeat Ron Johnson (or Marco Rubio) by killing off the base? Because that’s what they’re doing! Geez!”

If the coronavirus doesn’t get them, the high-blood pressure will.

And don’t thank me for this advice; the credit goes to every toddler who ever lived.

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Ivonne Rovira

Ivonne is the research director for Save Our Schools Kentucky. She previously worked for The Miami Herald, the Miami News, and The Associated Press. (Read the rest on the Contributors page.)

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